


DeadiePool-Man: The ULTIMATE ship

by GeoToni



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, jacksepticeye, jacksepticeye egos - Fandom
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Deadpool being Deadpool, Epic Bromance, Fluff, Humor, No Slash, One Shot Collection, Violence, jacksepticeye - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-05-20 13:35:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14895569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeoToni/pseuds/GeoToni
Summary: This will be a collection of one-shots (probably drabbles too) based upon what could only be described as "The Ultimate Ship/Bromance/Whatever the hell this turns into" between the Merch with the Mouth Deadpool and the Heroric Vigilante Jackieboy Man.





	1. Titantic

**Author's Note:**

> There will (probably) be no particular order to these, but if there are follow-ups to a previous one shot, the chapters will be named & numbered. For example Coffee shop, Coffee shop #2 etc...
> 
> One last thing, these pieces of fiction are just humorous pieces and not to be taken seriously. It will contain no actual shipping, let alone slash. It's just for shits and giggles and to take the mick out of 'Shipping' in general. I do not ship Jacksepticeye with anyone! It's all just fun/bromance/a good laugh. That is all.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy.

 

 

"Well, go on then," Deadpool said at the top of the ship, which overlooked stretches of endless sea and beautiful clear skies. 

Jackieboy Man raised his eyebrows. "Why am I being Kate Winslet? My name is Jack! You!" He points his blue-gloved hand at DP "should be the one in front!"

Deadpool crossed his arms. "Do you honestly think I'm playing the girl in this?"

"You are currently wearing heals..." Jackieboy mentioned.

"THAT'S not the point!" DP snapped. "I'm the one in charge around here, now get a move on."

"No." Jackieboy stood his ground.

DP moved a step closer, "excuse me...?" Giving Jackieboy a look, even though his mask his annoyance was clear.

Jackieboy too, took a step forward making them face to face. "I said, no."

“You do know how many people I’ve killed?”

“And do you know I have superior agility?”

“The majority of MY NAME is in this ship!”

“No, it’s not, this is the Titanic 2.” Jackieboy corrected him.

Deadpool just turned and faced you, the reader. “See what I have to put up with?” He faced Jackieboy again “You are just a pathetic shadow to a Youtuber!”

Jackieboy gasped, placing his gloved hands over his mouth but then he clenched his fists, bringing them down to his side as he turned to DP and sarcastically replied: “At least, my character was never ruined by a major franchise!”

DP’s eyes widened as his hands instantly moved to the side of his face, stunned by what Jackieboy had said. “That… that was so mean!”

“No, mean is reminding everyone your secret identity also ruined another comic book character who is the same colour as my hair!”

DP glared at him as he screamed with rage “THAT WASN’T MY FAULT!” He lunged at Jackieboy.

Jackieboy swiftly dodged out of his way, flying into the air and landing behind them. DP grabbed his guns, aimed them at Jackieboy and emptied them at him.

Once again, Jackieboy dodged and moved elegantly through, underneath and over each and every bullet. Just pissing DP off even more.

“You cocksucking arsehole!” DP yelled.

Jackieboy laughed, balancing on the railings of the ship. “Hey, I’m not the one who keeps getting Weasel to give them ‘blowjobs!’”

DP dropped his guns in an all slow motion, this shit is about to kick off, epic movie scene, as he reached behind him for his katana’s pulling them out then twirling them both in his hands. Ready for action.

“Oh, you’re gonna be turned into fucking French fries when I’m through with you!”

Jackieboy glared at him, “That’s racist!” removing his own sword ready for action.

“Who gives a fuck, Leprechaun!”

With that remark, Jackieboy charged at him the same time as DP did. Metal collided with metal, as the two of them danced in perfect symmetry while they battled it out for, well… Whoever would stand at the top of the bow?

After a while (which were a few hours) of tediously fighting one another, both guys ended up leaning against the railings of the ship exhausted.  

“You… Give-Up?” Jackieboy breathed heavily.

DP took in a deep breath, slowly letting it out before he replied: “Why you had enough?”

“Never…!”

“You sure…?”

Both Jackieboy and DP stared at each other, “God no!” Jackieboy dropped to the ground.

“Thank fuck!” DP cried out in joy but too dropped next to Jackieboy, truly exhausted. “I think, we call this one… A draw.”

Jackieboy nodded “Agreed.” He turned to look back out over the bow at the beautiful scenery, it was now sunset and it was stunning. “It is a gorgeous view.”

DP turned to face it too. “Yep, it sure is.”

In the background, but quite near to them both Jackieboy and DP could hear a female’s voice, singing.

_“Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you. That is how I know you go on…”_

Both of them turned around to see Celine Dion, overlooking the railings nearby as she seemed to be practising for the first night’s entertainment.

_“Far across the distance, And spaces between us…”_

“Wow, wow, wow!” Both DP and Jackieboy called out to her, stopping her immediately.

She turned to face them. “Why are you stopping me?!” She declared.

“Come on Celine, everyone knows the song. You don’t need to practice that.” DP stated. “Besides, there is a far much better song you could be singing instead…?”

“What…” Celine gaped at him. “No!”

“Ah, come on Celine. You did it perfectly.” Jackieboy said.

“Please!” DP got onto his knees, begging. “I promise, on my Hello Kitty collection I will never, to your face, criticise your performances, ever again!”

Celine pinched her fingers onto the brook of her nose, contemplating whether or not she needed aspirin for the horrendous reminder that was Deadpool. But then she flung her hand out wide as she sighed as dramatically as a famous singer would. “Fine but promise you stay away from me from now on.”

“I promise!” He said, even though Jackieboy saw he had crossed his fingers behind his back.

“Very well…” Celine paused, taking a breath then went to begin. _“What’s left to-”_

“WAIT!” DP cried out, getting an annoyed look from Celine and a puzzled one from Jackieboy. DP pulled out his phone, clicked a few buttons on it then suddenly the instrumental version of Ashes played.

Celine shook her head but restarted on the right part.

_“What’s left to say, these prayers aren’t working anymore…”_

DP settled back down next to Jackieboy, “There, now it’s all perfect.”

Jackieboy laughed as they two of them enjoyed the sunset with a private performance from one of Canada’s greatest exports.

And no, it wasn’t Ryan Reynolds.


	2. Spiderman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jackieboy and Deadpool argue over who is the best Spiderman - single one piece.
> 
> Also, spoilers for any film Spiderman has been in!

**Spiderman!**

 

Jackieboy-Man was jumping for joy when he ran into the main living room of the apartment he shared with his fellow "somewhat" hero/room-mate/frenemy Deadpool. Wade was just about to enjoy some peace and quiet with his favourite Unicorn, a mug of hot chocolate with cinnamon marshmallows and a box set about autopsies when Jackieboy appeared out of nowhere in front of him, holding up a PS4 game.

"Look Wade! It's FINALLY HERE!!! Spider-man! The coolest game EVER!" Jackieboy danced on the spot, giddy with joy.

Wade just glared at him, "It's not the _coolest game,_ my game was definitely up there! All the hits on my game's website proved that point!"

Jackieboy rolled his eyes, "along with our broadband bill that month..." he grumbled under his breath.

"SHUT IT!" Wade heard him, "Give me that..." He snatched it from Jackieboy's hand as he studied the case... "Oh, it's not based on Homecoming, well that's surprising..."

Jackieboy eyed Wade up, "what do you mean by that?"

"Well, let's face it. Tom wasn't that great at portraying Spider-"

"-WHAT???!!!" Jackieboy snapped making Deadpool jump. "HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT... He's precious, he's incredible. He's..."

"Not as good as Andrew!" DP added.

Jackieboy glared at him. "What...?"

Wade just grinned, "Andrew was FAR the best Spiderman out there!"

"No way, Tom did a great job. I mean they even had him in Civil War!"

DP snorted a laugh, "Yeah for about 5 seconds... And they had to have Tony in Homecoming to boost up the sales of Tom's ONLY film!"

Jackieboy glared at DP, "Tony was in Homecoming because it lead to Tom's portrayal of Spiderman joining the Avengers!"

"And look how that ended!" Jackieboy gasped, "Least Andrew survived all his movies!"

"You Bastard!" 

"Oh God, oh I am so so sorry..." Deadpool seemed to look apologetic but the sarcasm in his voice was inevitable, "Is it still too soon?"

"I Know why you're being such an arsehole, it only because they never continued with Andrew and therefore could've opened a door for you to join the Avengers!"

Wade suddenly burst into hysterical laughter! "PHA! Did you forget how well I played with the X-Men?! Logan still won't return any of my calls, let alone Beasty."

"Can you blame him??? You drugged Beast and took him to a vet to get him neutered!"

Wade giggled to himself, "It was funny..."

"Eugh, Wade! Why don't you just admit it?"

"Admit what?" DP was curious.

"The only reason you dislike Tom is because you would've liked have Andrew in a film with you and reenact that Kiss!"

Now it was Wade's turn to gasp, "How dare you!" Wade defended himself, "Andrew is a talented actor, that kiss was just an added bonus!"

"Tramp!" Jackieboy stated.

"Well, I am sorry that Ryan Reynolds charms are just too perfect and unable to resist the charms of the best spiderman that's ever been!"

Jackieboy snorted as he snatched his game back. "You keep telling yourself that DP." He finished walking away from Wade towards his room.

"And I bet Tom wouldn't be able to resist my charms either!" Wade shouted back as the door closed with a bang. Wade snorted a laugh as he sat back down on the sofa with his unicorn as he mumbled to himself, "I can just imagine Tony and Capt's faces if Tom and I ever fu-"

"-LANGUAGE!!!" Captain America's voice came out of nowhere along with his shield as it collided with Wade's face, knocking him unconscious. "And stay away from my son"

From inside his room while setting up the game, Jackieboy heard the commotion but as he wasn't part of the Marvel universe, he stayed out of it.

 

-The End-

 

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone has any other ideas for this, feel free to post in comments below. Let's make this fun!  
> Remember, no ship/slash!


End file.
